Month for Loki

July, I learned, is the month for Loki.  Celebrate him.  Venerate him.  Swear at him.  Make him laugh.  Feed him.  Listen to his jokes.  But listen harder when he’s quiet.

What makes all of July sacred to him?  Well, the small bit of searching I’ve done is because of the star Sirius.  This star burns brightly in the night sky and ushers in the oppressive heat of summer.  Many equate Loki with fire, so it being bright and hot and overwhelming makes sense.    Also, Sirius was known as the Lokabrenna in some Scandinavian countries furthering the association.  Lokabrenna itself seems to mean a myriad of different things, or so the internet tells me.  I’ve found sites that say it means Loki’s brand, Loki’s torch, or burning done by Loki.  This a modern practice and I don’t know how old or young it it… I started it last year when I finally decided to stop ignoring all the signs Loki was throwing in my path.

Heh.

So, what am I doing for Loki for the month of July?

I’m part of a facebook group and we’re answering a question a day about Loki.  I’m also adding a little piece to my daily devotional.  It doesn’t have a name yet and was influenced my many sources, some known and some unknown.

My daily devotional to Loki (take 1):

Loki, God with the sly and scarred smile
In the sweltering summer night
Your star burns like a firebrand illuminating my way
With gratitude, I light this incense in your honor.
Hail Loki –
Trickster who sheds chaos like water
in order to reveal hard truths.
Hail Loki –
Change-bringer, tale-teller, shape-shifter,
Creator and destroyer.
Hail Loki –
The catalyst who stirs my life
to keep me from stagnation.
Walk with me,
as I travel down wild new roads
for you are the hidden way
a thorned path around and through.

Advertisements

Dream

Before I talk about the dream, I wanted to say that my life has been insane.  I’ve been working 50 hour weeks in a department I hate and when I get home I’m exhausted and in pain.  Not good conditions for Wrenn to pay attention to her spirituality.

Fast forward to today.

My grey cat is sitting beside me, watching me, trying to insinuate himself onto my lap.  His purr rattles my bones and yet is comforting.  I only mention said kitty because I’ve recently determined that Loki shows himself to me, from time to time, as a small grey cat.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Last night I had a dream.   The facts of something as nebulous as a dream tend to get lost pretty easily, this one is no exception.  Pertinent details have been lost between sleeping and waking, blurred and muddied by thinking about them and trying to piece it all together in my head.

What I’m certain of: Loki of the sly, crooked smile appeared in my dream.  He was agitated, perhaps unhappy.  Perhaps angry.  Definitely in a state of high emotion.  My pulse in the dream picked up, worry blanketed me.  The background swirled into hazy lines of charcoal grey and green.  Loki (maybe physically, maybe not) grabbed me and dragged me to my altar.  I don’t remember actually feeling him touch me, so I’m not sure how I ended up there.

I woke with my heart pounding in my throat and a restless need to move. I was out of bed and walking before I consciously decided to do so, then I felt silly and convinced myself to go back to sleep.

When I got up for the day the dream was still lingering, it has followed me as an almost palpable miasma.

Now, I’ve toyed with the idea of Loki since Gina found him as a patron.  I’ve avoided him.  Hid from him.  Partly because of the Marvel movies but also because there is just something about Loki that stirs something uncomfortable within me.  Loki fascinates me, in that unpredictable and scary way snakes fascinate their prey.

Deep down, I’m afraid and I hate to be wrong.  What if Loki isn’t calling me?  What untamed roads will he lead me down?  How much of myself will I uncover or lose in the process?  Am I just drawn to him for his wild nature?

I just don’t know.  I hate not knowing.  I hate feeling uncertain.  All of this pushes my buttons but I need to stop pretending I don’t see him.  Right?